5 Friends Every Guy Needs
According to science and research people can usually only have about 100 to 150 real friends. If that were the case then why do we spend so much time ‘friending’ people we will never be friends with. It is not like the hundreds if not thousands of friends have a personal relationship with us. Better yet even the number of 150 sounds intimidating and well virtually impossible. Most men have a few friends every guy needs and nothing more.
Working with the number 150, realistically that is not obtainable even counting all your friends and family. Could you imagine trying to develop real relationships with that many? Many of us struggle with social anxiety when the room fills with more than a handful of people, much less hundreds. This number has been researched for years and has been narrowed down to a bit less than 150 real friends.
Take the classmates from school that you no longer talk to out of the equation. That alone should eliminate at least a third of your friends. Now lets take away those co-workers that you would never hang out with outside of work or confide in. If you remove the distant cousins and even local family that you only talk to at family reunions. Finally if you take away the friends that never have time for you.
So what is your real number now? … not counting your spouse and kids.
I would guess you are probably sitting at right about four or five. As men we can truly say that we can count our real friends on one hand. Real friends meaning those that won’t bail you out of jail, because they are there with you. Real friends that you can be yourself around. So real that they know even your darkest of secrets…yes even that one.
These friends are the ones that make your life easier. They help carry the load when you need to vent. They are the ones that may be rough around the edges, but that is what you need at times of weakness. You do the same for them. In a way that no one else can you sharpen each other and take away the edges. If you are surrounded by a band of brothers that you call friends you are fortunate. If you happen to have any of these variety you are truly blessed.
This is the guy that epitomizes manhood and represents what a true guy should be. He treats not only his wife and mother, but all women with the utmost respect.
He will serve as a role model for many guys. Always dressed nicely, clean-shaven and genuinely masculine. He will be the guy that you want to go on double dates with because he raises the bar. This friendship will be one that is of old traditions and real camaraderie. He will be the first to open the door for the ladies. He will rarely say anything off-color. He will be good to hang out with, if only but on occasion.
This man of calm disposition, strong values, intellectual thinking, polite yet thoughtful speech and a good upbringing. A defender of the underprivileged or downtrodden. This is the true epitome of what any guy would want to be.
Friends that we can rely on when times get bad. No matter what we have done they are the vault we can share. Under lock and key and for the defense of the brotherhood they will take your secrets to the grave. This is the guy that you would trust with your life, and he return the same.
Usually with this friend there is a code between you. You talk in metaphors and symbolism to keep the code intact. Others will think you are a bit strange (especially your wife). This is the friend that will lend an ear or a shoulder at the drop of a hat. If you are lucky to garner one of these guys, don’t take it lightly and never break the code.
Not really a carpenter, but just as good with their hands. This is the buddy that you can call when you need to paint the house or put up a fence. They are naturally able to pretty much do anything handy. Whether it is building a home on the weekend for Habitat for Humanity or fixing a car on the side of the road. This Jack of all trades is one that really comes in handy.
Being handy is helpful and usually nothing is expected in return. This is the guy that is willing to help and not afraid to get his hands dirty. No matter how many thumbs you have it is always best to help them in kind.
These friendships are a little different from the others. Many times you are only friends at work. Most of us spend the majority of our lives at work, it helps to have a friend there. Sometimes this is the guy you can vent to when things go awry. Maybe they are the one you chew the fat with and play armchair quarterback.
With friendships at work they do not garner the same relationship as others. It is best to find someone of equal stature so the give and take is equal. This is where you can share as little or as much as you want. Always keeping in mind that professionalism is important. Never know when you might end up being your friends boss, or vice versa.
As men we all need someone in our lives that can share their life experiences. We garner advice and leadership from their success as well as shortfalls. They are the one we can call on when we need guidance in either business, personal or both. Sometimes a commuter call is sufficient, while others are more in-depth.
Mentoring and guiding someone has a level of friendship that creates a strong bond. These are the guys that are full of advice as well as criticism. They dish it out with tact but are not shy in holding your feet to the fire. These men will confront you with the truth not to hurt you but to help shape you. Every man needs at least one of these guys in their arsenal.
So how many of these friends every guy needs do you have in your life? Or is there one guy that is all things? Which one of them are you to others? Let the guys know below in the comments.
About Charles Johnston
Charles is a Christian, husband and father of fur-kids who shares his walk with others in hopes to help other's along the way.