Have you ever lost a pet? Or better yet have you outlived your pet? If so then you know the empty hole that they can leave. As a pet owner since early childhood, I have endured living beyond their time all too many times. It never gets easier, and you don’t miss them any less. I woke this morning to a quiet house. Well, as quiet as a house with three large, needy rescue pups can be. It was quiet as I did not have the motion detected Hue light come on before I entered our front room. Quiet, without a hungry, sleepy “meow” to greet me under my bare feet. No pitter-patter paw prints across the floor leading me to the kitchen to his bowl. Last evening I placed my furkid kitty of thirteen years in the ground. He had lost his battle with age, kidney failure, and more. I left yesterday morning to go to work knowing he was not doing very well. Before I returned home he crawled into the bed that up until recently he rarely used and went to sleep. Looking as if he had gone peacefully to join all my pets before him. (Yes I firmly believe that animals also go over the rainbow bridge and await us playfully in heaven.) A good fight had been fought. He allowed myself and my wife our own personal moments over the last few days to love on him. We knew his precious time with us was near, we prayed over him, […]

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Ever meet someone that is adopted and wonder what it was like to be them on days like today? Being “Father’s Day” there is much that is implied with the word Father. The true definition is “ a man in relation to his natural child or children.” So if you were born into this world and abandoned by your biological father, should you not celebrate “father’s day?” There are many men that happen to have a biological relationship with their children that come nowhere near being a father. They just happen to have played 50% in the creation but not always the development of the child. In my case, 100% of my biological relationships walked out on me as a child. After spending the first few years of my life in foster care, finally, I was adopted. Adoption is not all that it is cracked up to be through. Even then I really never understood what having a father meant. It was the relationship a boy looks for in his father, that was still something I sought. Don’t get me wrong, I had a dad and a mom, who both took care of my necessities like clothing, food, and shelter, things many people take for granted. Yet, a father seemed to still be something or someone that I was missing. I can remember clear as day when I had acted up and spouted off and talked back to my dad. The words rang in my ears for days, months, years after. “I am your father, […]

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Dear Dad, I am writing this letter, and I hope it finds you in good health.  That probably sounds strange since we have not talked in many years or perhaps ever. Either way, I wish you only the best today which is different from the way it has been. I have tried to write this letter many times before and never succeeded. However, I do have a few things I would like to share with you, things I think you should know. When you walked away and left me behind, you left more than just a child. You left behind a part of you in me that I have had to live with my entire life, up until now. I doubt I cried tears when you left, at least not over your leaving. Perhaps when the hunger and dirty diapers that kicked in, I likely shed some tears, but they were not for you. I would have to have known you to cry for you, or so I thought. Growing up I got used to being called names like a bastard, I mean you did leave so it was somewhat accurate. Then again are you a bastard when both parents leave? Anyway, I digress, where was I? Oh yeah… As a child, it was uncomfortable never really fitting in. Fights were normal as I always felt alone and out-of-place. Anyone that called be a bas”….” or “son of a b….” , well those were fighting words.  I had parents, but they did not look like me. I had anger […]

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