Ways in Becoming an Authentic Christian Man

Ways in Becoming an Authentic Christian Man in today’s world.

Becoming an Authentic Christian man and walking the path of righteousness with morals and values has become a long journey for many Christians to walk.

There has been a great deal of discussion lately regarding the role of the Authentic Christian male in the family as well as the workplace.  We as men have persona, sometimes which turns to ego  to uphold when it comes to being a man.  There are many days spent in an internal battle between being a Christian and maintaining this perception  of being the guys guy that most of our friends are used to.

We would like to think that our values and morals would easily stand out  the test of time.  As men we are bombarded daily by people and things that do not respect the walk we are on and try to derail us every step of the way. We are asked to do things in both the business world and within our own  relationships that force us to make unpopular decisions as Christians.

As Christian men we walk a walk that many times ends up different from our coworkers,  friends and sometimes even family. We tend to have a more defined view of the world,  not one with blinders or tunnel vision as many think,  just one with a few less shades of grey.  Our sense of right and wrong comes across as a moral high road to others, yet  to us it is just a common path.

Disappointments are inescapable, but Christ’s love is always there. When life lets us down, Jesus lifts us up.

Those men that are blessed to be married have even a finer line to walk as they not only are on a path to follow Christ but in turn try to lead their families Christlike.  These men many times walk away from lifelong friendships in order to save their marriages,  those that don’t walk away many times end  up paying the price.

The friends we had growing up,  in college or at work are not always conducive to being friends in our marriages.  Many of us our fortunate that our single friends respect that once we get married things will change.  It is no longer cool being the third wheel or crashing on our couch.  We no longer are able to drop whatever we are doing to catch a game or stay out late at night.

We also experience a shift in our friendship where topics that were once okay. are no longer.  No longer are we the ones to provide opinions or sage dating advice.  We talk about our families,  faith and dreams rather than hangovers, conquests and dirty jokes. The divide grows as if Moses parted the sea and washed away all the boyish tales and triumphs and on the other side we have become Christian men.

Men who follow and have given their lives to Christ have a level of values that cause us to make unpopular choices.  Whether we walk out of a movie or change the channel when the language or sexuality becomes uncomfortable.  Sometimes it is when we politely change the topic when it starts to go down the wrong path. As Christians our values may seem prudish to those that once knew us,  then again many times they begin to shift in their views as well.

This is not an easy path to travel in today’s world as it has become common to diminish family values.

Friends and family have become tolerant , complacent and even immune to the attacks on the sanctity of marriage in our society.  Friends will guilt you when you choose to stay home rather than go out and have beers with the guys.  Family still expect their needs to come above those of your marriage.  When you choose your marriage first you are ridiculed, your being inconsiderate and many times your friends will fade away.

Fortunately in a Godly guided marriage these decisions become easier and easier to make. As you journey and continue in your walk with God leading the way and your wife by your side.  The things that used to matter no longer do and the things that do matter always will.

This is not to say that there is not a time and place for friends and family,  there definitely is the rules have simply changed.

Rather than going out with the guys doing things you shouldn’t, you find men with common values in mind.  You meet up for coffee, lunch or go to the gym and catch up life,  sharpen each other spiritually regularly.  Nothing is more powerful than a group of men that mentor one another as they become spiritual warriors.

Family guilt can bring even the strongest of marriages to its knees and cause a great divide if not handled accordingly.  It can be difficult for families especially parents to let go,  and in turn their children to tell them “no “.  Whether it is by making decisions for the couple without asking or simply meddling in the marriage with opinions and parental guilt.

Sometimes it is the wife’s family , sometime its the husbands. Either way as it was said “therefore man shall leave his father and his mother,  and shall cleave unto his wife: and they should be one flesh” Gen 2:24 In other words quit being a mamma’s boy , grow up and take care of your wife.

Lets keep in mind that both friends and family are important,  they are important to your marriage and important to you growing as a Christian man.  We just need to create a balance between them as well as develop a standard of expectations.  No matter what the relationship if it is detrimental to your spiritual walk you should #manup and walk away.

One place that men can find other like-minded men to be around would be at church.  Many times we sit in the pews every Sunday but never interact after that.  Personally I have found some of my greatest mentors sitting a couple of rows ahead or behind me in mass. Many of which are not so much my age in years but have seen something in me to want invest their time and energy.  For that I am forever grateful as their moments of wisdom have taken me farther in my journey than I ever would have made doing it alone.

While you are at church find a men’s ministry that you can get involved in,  if there is not one at your own church maybe a nearby church has one.  By having a men’s group you have a group of like-minded men that you can lean on and eventually learn to trust.  Whether you meet for Bible study or just breakfast once a month,  building a community of men will in turn make your church family stronger. It also gives you a safe place among faith driven men to grow beyond the walls of your own home.

This applies to those men that may not be blessed to be married yet as well. The more men we have that grow in their faith and devotion to their church and community before getting married the more successful you will be in becoming the Christian husbands the rest of us strive to be.

A hopeful leader is a visionary leader who is able to move people into the future with passion. I believe being an authentic leader is one of the most important.  ~ Jon Gordon

As a Christian man,  if you are unashamed about your faith and you place God first in your life, then the needs of your wife and anyone else you choose to serve,  you will find a more fulfilling path than you ever imagined.  Lead a life not as a fan of Christ but a follower,  live a Christ filled life and you will want for nothing more. By making these decisions you too can walk the path of an Authentic Christian man.

Now it’s Your Turn : As a man do you find it challenging to remain steadfast in your Christian values?

Blessings,

CJ