SecondIron's Blog

Sharpening Iron to Live Second

How You Talk to Yourself

We joke about people that we see talking to themselves. We make light of their mental stability. The real question is “How do you talk to yourself?”

We spend much of our life alone. Even if we are married or have kids. It may not seem like we are ever alone. Yet in truth we hang out in our own mind most of the day. We even go to bed together every night. The one person we talk to the most is ourselves.

With self-esteem issues rampant today. We need to be careful how we talk to ourselves. Looking in the mirror in the morning. Seeing the lines, spots and age. Wanting to look different, younger, thinner, prettier. Maybe you grew up being told or thinking you were fat or ugly. Into your mind your own voice starts to creep.

Driving to work, ever notice that you tell others off? You scream and yell with the windows closed. The driver that caused all your angst remains oblivious. Meanwhile you tell yourself what an idiot they are. Your day is already off to a great start. Blood pressure risen, pulse heightened all because of the way you were speaking, to yourself.

Feeding our mind and spirit words of encouragement can be transforming. Whether you spend a few minutes each day speaking affirmations to yourself in the mirror. Maybe it means listening to a motivational audio book on your commute. Perhaps taking the 30 day challenge with K-love can start a trend of positive thinking and in turn speaking.

Too many people dwell on the negative aspects of the world. They would rather spew hateful rhetoric than words of kindness. We must challenge the status quo. Speaking words of encouragement unto ourselves. Bless those that may curse you. By turning the other cheek in the mirror. We may event change the world starting with how we speak to ourselves. What words of kindness and inspiration do you speak into your own heart?

As a kid I read a lot, okay maybe excessively. I read the dictionary and the Encyclopedia for fun. Reading was my refuge from the world. I spent so hours reading about the tragedies of the world that my language turned bitter. Between the neglect and abandonment I felt, I began to use self loathing talk as a means to fit in or at least get by. Years went by and the way I talked about myself and to myself reflected in the way I treated others.

When you grow up feeling inadequate those feelings follow you. Used to being compared to the successes of others. Being told you were stupid, or should have never been born. A person can develop a failure mentality. They begin to despise who looks back at them in the mirror. They withhold emotions from others amidst their self-deprecating lifestyle.

How LinkedIn Almost Fired Me

Anyone that uses social media to any extent knows the rules change. Just look at Facebook recently, and apparently LinkedIn as well. The developers of the social media websites and applications make changes all the time. Some are for privacy, functionality or well  just because. That last one is the tricky one. As a user, when we use their product we accept the responsibility that no matter how their app works, defame or maims us we cannot hold them liable. I recently learned this the hard way. I fired myself on LinkedIn and did not even know it. Recently I updated my LinkedIn work experience to include a couple more items. I added blogging on this site as well as the freelance writing I do for Father Jerzy’s Road to Sainthood. Sounds innocent enough…right? Soon after making the changes I started getting congratulations notifications from people in my network. It is awesome whenever we get kudos especially for our art.  I received some personal notes that really made my day. Then I started to wonder what all the fuss was really about… Thankfully, I am not networked with my manager on LinkedIn. This became evident when a coworker at my day job stopped by my desk. They were checking to see if I had left yet and wanted to know if I was fired or quit. A bit confused, they said my LinkedIn profile said I had a new gig. I checked did.. it had fired me from my day job. Apparently when you […]

5 Friends Every Guy Needs

According to science and research people can usually only have about 100 to 150 real friends. If that were the case then why do we spend so much time ‘friending’ people we will never be friends with. It is not like the hundreds if not thousands of friends have a personal relationship with us. Better yet even the number of 150 sounds intimidating and well virtually impossible. Most men have a few friends every guy needs and nothing more. Working with the number 150, realistically that is not obtainable even counting all your friends and family. Could you imagine trying to develop real relationships with that many? Many of us struggle with social anxiety when the room fills with more than a handful of people, much less hundreds. This number has been researched for years and has been narrowed down to a bit less than 150 real friends. Take the classmates from school that you no longer talk to out of the equation. That alone should eliminate at least a third of your friends. Now lets take away those co-workers that you would never hang out with outside of work or confide in. If you remove the distant cousins and even local family that you only talk to at family reunions. Finally if you take away the friends that never have time for you. So what is your real number now? … not counting your spouse and kids. I would guess you are probably sitting at right about four or five. As men we can […]