According to science and research people can usually only have about 100 to 150 real friends. If that were the case then why do we spend so much time ‘friending’ people we will never be friends with. It is not like the hundreds if not thousands of friends have a personal relationship with us. Better yet even the number of 150 sounds intimidating and well virtually impossible. Most men have a few friends every guy needs and nothing more. Working with the number 150, realistically that is not obtainable even counting all your friends and family. Could you imagine trying to develop real relationships with that many? Many of us struggle with social anxiety when the room fills with more than a handful of people, much less hundreds. This number has been researched for years and has been narrowed down to a bit less than 150 real friends. Take the classmates from school that you no longer talk to out of the equation. That alone should eliminate at least a third of your friends. Now lets take away those co-workers that you would never hang out with outside of work or confide in. If you remove the distant cousins and even local family that you only talk to at family reunions. Finally if you take away the friends that never have time for you. So what is your real number now? … not counting your spouse and kids. I would guess you are probably sitting at right about four or five. As men we can […]

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Church leaders everywhere are scrambling to understand why the men are leaving Church and not coming back. Historically men have led the church, fed the church and filled the church. As Church attendance across the nation declines and some churches are having to shutter their doors. One trend has become true, the men that once attended are not returning, new men are not coming back. Men are leaving the Church and the Church seems surprised. The real question every church needs to ask is why? Men by nature seek a different level of fulfillment at church. Gone are the days of going to church because you grew up in the church. We need more than the readings on Sunday and maybe Wednesday nights. Our spiritual cup is empty and the Church no longer runneth over to refill it. What is it that men need from the Church? 1.) Brotherhood – Men are better when they have other men to keep them honest. Iron sharpens iron was not just words in Proverbs. It is the truth and the light that men need other men to rely on. Dating back centuries as cave men, as bothers in monasteries, as soldiers, as teammates, men need other men. 2.) Spiritual – As men we are attacked by satan everyday of our lives. We are tempted as in the garden of Eden with fresh fruits. We rely on the spiritual guidance and armor to protect our hearts. Alone we are weak, but with the armor of the Word to protect and […]

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The time to take a stand is now. Like many communities in America since the recession began my hometown has been plagued with a disease. This disease has eroded the city from its core. What was once a friendly big city with a small town feel has become a place where crime and fear has taken over. We can no longer turn on the news or even listen to the radio without being bombarded with evil. It has become common to hear about shooting in our schools, workplaces and neighborhoods. Our country is becoming overrun by a callous society that has not dignity or respect for life. Every day we read about someone’s child being shot and killed. It has become normal for robberies and home invasions to control the headlines. We naturally get angry at all the violence. We talk about how this and that must be done. Yet we stand by on the sidelines and allow it to breach the headlines. Our first instinct is to lock our doors, arm our wives with shotguns and live in fear. We spend hours at the gun ranges to regain our masculinity and teach our wives to shoot at paper targets. Yet the crimes still happen, the breaking news reports become more frequent. When does it all end, when do we as men take a stand. The victims are no longer faceless from some other town. Soon we will attend the funeral of a friend or child that we knew as well. When does it come time […]

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