Why Every Man Needs a Cave Full of Broken Men

Over the last couple of years, I like many of my male friends have sought out fellow cave dwellers.

Now I am not referring to the cavemen that grunt and scratch themselves. I am talking about the men that lean on each other and sharpen each other as we struggle through life.

I have attended a men’s group called That Man is You on Wednesday mornings at my church. It is a group of between 30 and 50 Catholic men that watch a 30-minute video of the week then spend about 30 minutes discussing the points of the film and anything else that may come up in discussions. Many times the topic itself gets replaced by real issues we are dealing with personally.

Although that group has fed me over the past couple of years, I have longed for more. I became involved in conversations with men in a Facebook group called the Real man Cave. This is a group of guys from around the country that really press into one another. It is a safe place to discuss manly topics and also be held accountable. No topic has been off-limits as we have discussed things like finances, marriage, addictions and more.

I also came across a website that also has a mobile app called ManUp God’s Way. A place where men from all over can share as well as be challenged. I use the app regularly to share with others, read their stories, and encourage them through their struggles. Through that group, I also encountered Cavetime, another great group and resource for men by men. The more I share with the guys, the more they reciprocate and we all realize we are all just as broken as the other.

Women, you should be thankful that your man finds a cave of his own to dwell in. I am referring to a cave full of broken men, not one where he can hide his beer, big screen TV and other things that, well let’s face it should probably not exist in a marriage. By finding men of similar struggles that they can sharpen one another in sharing their life experiences, this allows them to come home and be the man you expect them to be. It is not that we have anything to hide, it’s just that sometimes men need to be able to be men to be able to take on the world.

David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and the rest of his family heard about it, they came down to him there. 2 He was joined by all those in difficulties or in debt, or embittered,[a] and became their leader. About four hundred men were with him.  ~ 1 Samuel 22

Recently I had the opportunity to spend some time with some godly men that were members of a group called the YokeFellows. Some of the men from a local chapter and I happened to be on a mission trip to Haiti together. We were tasked with putting on a men’s conference in Haiti with the local YokeFellows of the area. It was a humbling experience to be able to share with a group of men, who although come from different cultures and background still shared the same struggles.

I would love to hear from you! If you are a man do you have a cave that you hang out in either virtually or in person? If you happen to be a woman reading this, do you encourage your man to befriend other broken men?