Finding Christ-like Humility

I was raised in a family in which appearances mattered.

Not the tummy-tuck, plastic-face type, but the status and what “people might think” kind. More vanity and less humility.

Granted this was not how I was born, but it was how I was raised.

Unknowingly I became blindly judgemental, arrogant, and condescending.

I spent much of my young adult life trying to not be like I was raised. Yet turned out just as was planned.

Over last few years I have been searching for my true north.

Was it my identity I sought? Did I even know who I really was?

A couple of years ago, my crown came crashing down.

I met Jesus face to face in a hospital in Port au Prince, Haiti. It was there that I felt His pain, a pain I caused him, by the life I had been living. I had been angry for so long because of what others had done to me. Never taking the time or caring enough to see what I did to others in return. It was not until I came to grips with who I am in Christ, that I began to recognize my true calling.

Humbled onto my knees the weight of my past crumbled off my shoulders. Jesus was there with me wiping away the pieces, comforting my tears. A sinner undeserving of His love or forgiveness, He ignored my transgressions as only He could. My past became a message, my journey was not in vain, as one day He would use that child, once abandoned and now home.

I began to seek His face in everyone I met.

Something I had said I did before but my weak vanity never allowed me to see him past my own reflection.

Feeling drawn to the cross like never before, it came a time that I lay my burdens at its feet.

Shoulder my yoke and learn from me,

for I am gentle and humble in heart

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, and you will find rest for your souls.

A forgiveness I never felt I had the power to give came easily when I accepted that it was Jesus who gave forgiveness not me.

In childlike faith, I began to try and truly follow him with Christ-like humility.

If you do live in that way, you are doomed to die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the habits originating in the body, you will have life. Romans 8:9, 11-13

Just as a child, I stumbled. I failed, I hurt others, created scars, whenever I slipped and made it about me.

Instead of getting up each time under my own power, I gave my weakness to Him first.

When I wronged someone, rather than ignoring them, I apologized for my ways. If I sinned, I longed for absolution rather than wearily dreading my confession.

I try each day to draw closer to my Heavenly Father. Seeking the tender face of Christ, praying that my life would become a reflection of Him rather than me.

Calling on the Holy Spirit to guide my thoughts and actions daily has made all the difference in my life. I pray that one day people will see me, behind Christ’s reflection and Spirit inside of me.

My biggest prayer of all is that one day I can truly say that I found Christ-like humility..until then I will keep trying.

Blessings,

CJ