On the Edge of Darkness, Just be Held
Does it seem darker than before? How do you get the strength to go on? Feeling like you are drowning yet you raise your head and find the inner power to continue to push through. As a husband, there are certain roles that you assume. Provider, comforter, healer, leader, I could go on and on. We believe we are to hold it all together no matter what. Then comes that moment in time, where the sands slip through our fingers, and we begin to lose our grip. Fear and anxiety that we put our parents through as kids become a reality in that moment, as we lose control. Whether it is a spouse or child, you can be brought to your knees in an instant. One moment you are complacently going through your daily routines. Suddenly your life is turned upside down, and you are rocked to your core, no longer having control. My wife and I have not been blessed with children. I witnessed the stripping of all my power as illness took over her life. In a moment we went from our daily routines to feeling like we were barely breathing. Days and nights blended as I remained at her bedside. Every needle and pill she experienced pierced my helpless heart. I painstakingly watched as the doctors treated my wife more like a number than a person. All dignity and humanity were taken away as they tirelessly tried to find a label or condition to put on her. Our home was empty in […]