Dear Dad, I am writing this letter, and I hope it finds you in good health.  That probably sounds strange since we have not talked in many years or perhaps ever. Either way, I wish you only the best today which is different from the way it has been. I have tried to write this letter many times before and never succeeded. However, I do have a few things I would like to share with you, things I think you should know. When you walked away and left me behind, you left more than just a child. You left behind a part of you in me that I have had to live with my entire life, up until now. I doubt I cried tears when you left, at least not over your leaving. Perhaps when the hunger and dirty diapers that kicked in, I likely shed some tears, but they were not for you. I would have to have known you to cry for you, or so I thought. Growing up I got used to being called names like a bastard, I mean you did leave so it was somewhat accurate. Then again are you a bastard when both parents leave? Anyway, I digress, where was I? Oh yeah… As a child, it was uncomfortable never really fitting in. Fights were normal as I always felt alone and out-of-place. Anyone that called be a bas”….” or “son of a b….” , well those were fighting words.  I had parents, but they did not look like me. I had anger […]

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This article was originally published and distributed on Medium.  Recently I started a 40 Day devotional with a group of online friends. Little did I know that by the end of the first week this would need writing. On day 3 entitled a Tale of Two Fathers the author paints a picture of fatherhood. Fatherhood is a loose term as many of us envision a father different from what we had. There are some where the father was absent or distant. Some where their loving hearts reflects the heart of Christ. Whichever father you did or did not have, neither can match the love of your heavenly Father. Men tend to get consumed with work, hobbies or the hopes of never growing up that their children never know them. Careers come before family, success matters more than anything. Meanwhile small hearts break wanting just to be noticed by their fathers. I spent most of my own childhood going unnoticed. Click To Tweet It seems in today’s world the only way these children get the attention they seek is through pain. Attempts to obtain a father’s approval seem to be in vain, the only time they are noticed is when they are in trouble. Many boys that want to become men turn to their friends as their fathers are absent. These friends are not friends really as they soon will find out when they abandon them too. Instead of focusing on the dreams of tomorrows, their dreams get squashed. Where their fathers should stand encouraging them […]

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  When you hear the name ‘father’ or ‘papa’ or even ‘dad’ what kind of emotion does that stir inside you?  Many men in the world today do not have the feelings one would expect.  Rather than having happiness and fulfillment and attitudes of success men see that term as an empty label. There are many of us that feel like we were orphans and therefore the idea of a father inflames feelings of hurt. These orphans may have not been such in the true sense of the word, meaning that they had someone who called themselves ‘dad’ but were not there emotionally.  Many men grow up with no role model or father figure to call on.  These men develop resentment and anger that many are unaware of towards authority figures as they had none to look up to. There are men, such as myself that also are true orphans where they were given up either at birth or any time during their childhood where they were deserted by the people who were supposed to be there for them.  This abandonment can cause mixed feelings of hurt, confusion and anger that can sometimes last a lifetime.