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Nine Ways to Not Suck as a Husband


Nine years ago today my life was changed forever in ways I never imagined.

In order to put things into perspective, nine years ago today I was still a mess of a man. That day I married my best friend who in turn has attempted to clean the mess she married. Over the past nine years I have spent repairing the damage of the years prior to becoming a husband. My wife unknowingly has taught me lessons on being a man, better yet being a better man and husband that I thought I would share.

You see women in general believe when they marry a man they will be able to fix all that’s broken. Sometimes this is true, sometimes it will be a long journey similar to that of the Trail of Tears.

“God created marriage. No government subcommittee envisioned it. No social organization developed it. Marriage was conceived and born in the mind of God.”  ~ Max Lucado 

Men meanwhile think that if they get married they can continue to be a kid just with bigger and better toys. This is probably what I thought nine years ago. Little did I know I needed fixing, better yet that I wanted to be fixed.

9 ways to Not Suck as a Husband

  1. Be Emotionally available – yes guys this means share your feelings and communicate with your spouse. You will be surprised how your relationship will grow and your wife will find you sexy.
  2. Apologize when needed … and mean it. Many men have no idea what a real apology is, just the words ‘I am Sorry’ does not cut it. Just ask or better yet read 5 Languages of Apology by Dr. Gary Chapman. Learn how to apologize the right way and save your marriage.
  3. Say what you mean and mean what you say – Nothing is worse than a man who is not true to his word, especially to his spouse. Even the ‘white lie’ will get you in the dog house. Not only that but women look for a man who they can trust. Lie to them once and they will always have doubts.
  4. Speak to her heart – The language you use with your spouse will determine your relationship’s future. Compliment her with positive, uplifting and powerful words. Stay away from the manipulation tactics you use in the board room. Encourage her, love her unconditionally with your words.
  5. Be her Hero – Chivalry is not dead no matter what people like to think. Open her door, pull out her chair, behave like a gentleman. Respect your wife both in private and public. Defend your wife through your actions and words, be her hero with or without saying a word.
  6. Publicly Praise her – Your wife may blush and get a little embarrassed with public adoration. She will adore a man who is no ashamed to publicly express his love and devotion.
  7. Lead Your Wife and Family – Men are natural leaders, we have it instilled in us almost from birth. We want to lead in our jobs or at church, and yet we refuse to lead our homes. A woman will respect and honor a man who will lead her through their marriage.
  8. Lift her up through Encouragement – Your wife, like many feels insecure no matter how confident and beautiful she is in person. She needs a man that will encourage her and speak words of love to her daily. Many of us forget to tell our wives and assume she knows. We need to focus on creating the habit of beautiful encouragement.
  9. Pray with her and over her – The more you pray over your wife and with your wife the closer you will grow. Any marriage that puts God at the center of the marriage will increase the bond in their marriage. Marriage is a bond of three not two, we place our lives in the hands of our spouses in front of God and His blessing. By keeping God in your marriage and living to serve your wife and others you too will create a list like this.

If you are like me and celebrating your anniversary today or any day soon may these ways add to your list of ways not to suck. The list is not limited, yet just a few suggestions. Feel free to create your own list of lessons learned throughout your own marriage. May you and your wife have many happy years of marriage whether it be nine or ninety-nine.

What are some lessons that you have learned from your marriage that you would like to share?

About Charles Johnston

Charles is a Christian, husband and father of fur-kids who shares his walk with others in hopes to help other's along the way.

7 Replies

  1. This is a great list. I think you should guest post this at Nick is looking for contributors.

    1. I agree. This was a great post. I used it to affirm my husband.

      1. Thanks Shelly, I am glad it was an enjoyable read worthy of affirmation.

    2. Thanks David!.. Would be awesome to be able to contribute to his great blog one day!

  2. Excellent article Charles! I see a couple things here that I need to work on. I’m sharing this on FB and Twitter. Keep up the good work!