SecondIron's Blog

Sharpening Iron to Live Second

Tough Questions to Reveal You Care

As men we care for our homes in our own way, may just not be the right way.

As a man we can think that life is going great and then are blindsided by the truth at home. We get so busy with work, deadlines, and keeping a busy schedule that we fail at everything. It is like we work so hard at getting things done we get nothing done that is needed.


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If we take a moment and evaluate our lives, are we really doing the right things? I know this means actually taking the time to stop, listen to the silence and hear the truth. Many times the truth is our truth not the real truth that the rest of the world sees.

“It is not titles that make men illustrious, but men who make titles illustrious.” – Machiavelli 

We brag about our accomplishments, we feel good when the bills are paid and when things are going right. We focus on what we good we have done or how well we finished a difficult project at work. Yet we leave our homes, not our houses but our homes undone.

This does not mean the yard as it is mowed and trimmed. The hedges have been pruned the grass is watered so everything is looking good. You sit down to a home cooked meal every night so things are even better. Your house is tidy yet your home is still a wreck.

As men we get busy in ‘our world’ of taking care of things, things that really  matter don’t get taken care of.

This is difficult for men to admit that we failed or we let things slip. We get so wrapped up in bringing home the bacon, we forget the one at home that cooks it. Our spiritual and emotional home-front is being attacked by our own greed and negligence.

We sin as we climb the ladder of success while our foundation crumbles around us. Money and fame become our gods as we work hard to earn more dollars. We spend late nights in front of our computer screens rather than spending time with our wives.

Men don’t recognize their sin as sin for we are so wrapped up in the world not the Word. We spend our energy to make everything right, yet in turn we damage the one thing we work so hard for. If we would just take a moment, every once and awhile, just to step back, step away, kneel down and pray.

pray to care

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In order for us to really give our home and our wives, what they really need from us we need to look inside. Look inside of ourselves, look in the mirror and be honest.  We need to dig deep into our spiritual walk and break open the Word.  We need to break ourselves down so that we can build your home back up.

As a man,  better yet as a warrior we need to renew our spiritual side. We need to take back the armor and fulfill our destiny. Here are some questions to ask yourself as you peel back the layers and reveal the man of God inside.

  1. Have you spent time in God’s Word daily in readings and reflection?
  2. Have you been honest in your dealings both at work, socially and at home.
  3. Have you had thoughts that you would be ashamed to share with your wife or God?
  4. Have you spent time with your wife, time that is of quality not just quantity?
  5. Have you exercised both your mind and body? If you do not take care of yourself you cannot take care of others.
  6. Have you given all that you have in everything you do? If you cheat at work or school you cheat yourself too.
  7. Have you spiritually filled your wife ? Praying with her and over her will fulfill her.
  8. Have you been genuine with your family and friends? Spending time with like-minded people and honestly sharing with each other build each other.
  9. Have you walked the walk and spread the gospel with your brothers in arms? Iron sharpens iron.
  10. Have you been 100 percent honest in answering these questions?

What question or questions spoke to you, which ones did you struggle with, share what are you going to do about it?

About Charles Johnston

Charles is a Christian, husband and father of fur-kids who shares his walk with others in hopes to help other's along the way.

15 Replies

  1. What a great article! My husband has recently gotten back to God and is trying to lead our home the right way. He is struggling with an issue and just started going to a group called celebrate recovery. We are even doing devotions together for the first time on our marriage of 8 years. 9 days straight so far and I hope it continues 🙂

    1. It can be a difficult journey but if he takes it one step at a time the trip is amazing. 9 days is better than 8 and if he stumbles keep going. God Bless you both in your journey.

  2. Great list of questions. I struggle with some of the above. Over busyness is my biggest issue.

    1. I have the same issues, get so wrapped up in getting things done, things come undone.

  3. fromthegardentable

    I know that my husband definitely struggles with balancing what needs to be done and spending time with the family. He definitely tries his best but always feels like he is let one thing or the other go. I have to have him read your post!

    1. We all struggle as we try to hold it all together, the burden is only as heavy as we allow the yoke to be. Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Charles, this is a great post. You ask excellent questions. From a female perspective, many wives are seeking a really emotional connection that no amount of material stuff can fill. Wish we had more of this kind of thinking in my area! Bravo.

    1. Men and women are on different playing fields most of the time and while women need the emotional men think they are doing well just to provide the needs of the family. Feel free to share this blog with the men in your lives as these kinds of subjects will be taken head on.

  5. There’s always such a thing as focusing too hard on something and neglecting other things.

    1. Absolutely and we all need to take a moment to re-evaluate before we neglect the things that are important. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

  6. Thanks for stopping by !

  7. Thanks Charles! These are great questions that can easily be adapted and kept handy as a check up for all believers!

  8. great list! this is so very important, thank you so much for sharing